Dog Would Sink Battleship®

Battleship® the movie was recently released.  I heard that the reviews were awful.  My personal opinion is they should sink this movie based on a board game and try again with other great board games.

I believe Monopoly® would make a great movie based on the lingering real estate market woes.  The movie would start by showing how there are all of these great properties available.  It would then show how many metal chotskies with cash flow issues buy these properties up, sometimes acquiring multiple properties at one time.  These chotskies would then try to resell the properties, or would build houses or hotels on these newly acquired properties.  The movie would finish with each of the chotskies running out of money, except for one.  I would definitely play the chotsky dog in this movie, leaving the other players to fight over the chotsky dirty shoe, which I would probably eat.

I believe Old Maid® would make a great movie based on everybody trying to avoid being stuck with the only person who is not a pair.  Everybody is meeting and matching, maybe doing some online dating, or It’s Just Lunches.  But, this one lady has no meets or matches and just kind of cruises through life.  She continually is being passed between people who are trying to avoid being stuck with her.  She may even have a lot of cats.  I probably could not star in this movie due to my dislike of cats.

I believe Fur-Ever Home®, The Animal Rescue Game would make a great animated movie based on animal rescue, and everybody working together to try to get all homeless animals into fur-ever homes.  I could star in this movie, in an animated kind of way.  I could then have my brother star in the movie with me, like many famous actors and actresses do.  The rescues would take us in, care for us, and adopt us out to loving homes.  There could be a love story between the two shelter operators, where at some point they merge and become one large rescue – saving more animals.  LOVE!! 

Battleship® is a great board game, or so it seems.  Scrabble® is a great board game, or so it seems.  I cannot play either of them with small playing pieces and no thumbs, but I can watch my parents play them.  They both seem awesome!  But, just because a board game is awesome does not mean the movie will be awesome.   Lesson learned, now time to sink Battleship® the movie.

~ Tyra

Dog Would Praise Mark Zuckerberg

I know too much about Mark Zuckerberg….

I know that he is really, really wealthy, as of this past week, and signed up to share at least 50% of this wealth to solve world problems through the Giving Pledge!  I know he started a company (The Facebook) years, and years ago, well maybe just over a dog year ago, that recently went public.  I know his company has changed how we live our day to day lives, as many people use Facebook every single day of their lives, sometimes using it to share things that never should be shared on a public web site. 

What is interesting, or so I hear from my parents, is that this website is totally free for day to day users.    Yes, I guess there is advertising that many businesses pay so they can directly target their customers based on the day to day user searches.  But, for the day to day users sharing way too much on a public website, it is totally free.

What is also interesting is how this free website can be used for doing good things in the world.  Although most are still using it to share way too much about themselves on a public website, and then getting mad when what they have shared on a public website is actually public, but I digress…

Think about it.  A short eight years ago, an animal rescue or shelter had local options to reach people.  They may have even had newsletters, email lists, web bulletin boards, etc. if they were a technically progressive rescue or shelter.  But, the reach was still small and mostly local.

Now, an animal rescue or shelter has Facebook to reach people across the globe immediately.  An animal rescue or shelter can take pictures or videos, and share them on their Facebook page.  Every person following this animal rescue or shelter then receives these pictures or videos.  This person then may share this picture or video to their “friends”.   Their “friends” may find this picture or video fun and interesting, and share it again.  Now, a picture or video of an animal awaiting a home in OH, has made its’ way to a person in CA.  The person is CA has friends in OH, since everybody has friends in OH.  They now message their friend in OH and say I know you have been looking for a pet, check out Meatball.  Meatball goes to a loving fur-ever home.  WOW!!!  And, one final thing, the person in OH who adopted Meatball, now becomes a fan of their local animal rescue or shelter and the cycle begins again.

I personally, as a rescued dog, want to thank Mark Zuckerberg for creating a free website that can be used for doing good things in the world, as described above.  I am just a dog from the animal rescue world, so this is the good thing I know.  But, my dog sense is that there are many other great causes out there that have gotten more support due to Mark’s idea and years of execution, that started in a Harvard dorm room – as many great ideas do. 

~ Tyra

Dog Would Not Want to Have Puppies

Wanting to have puppies is what I am supposed to do, right? 

Well, I don’t want to have puppies.  Maybe I don’t want to have puppies because I saw some, like me, just roaming the streets looking for trouble.  I wondered what kind of mother, both dog and human, lets their puppies out around town to just cause trouble?   Shouldn’t they be inside feeding them, or enrolling them in some kind of obedience class, or socialization class, or just something to keep them busy and out of trouble? 

Maybe I don’t want puppies because the animal rescue I was taken into was filled with puppies and dogs.  It was overflowing with small dogs, big dogs, young dogs, old dogs, single color dogs, multi-colored dogs, and old dogs trying to look young.   I should note, it was also filled with kittens and cats.  There were even more of them than there were puppies and dogs.  I did not think this was possible.

Maybe I don’t want puppies because I would be the one that has to take care of them, at least for the first eight weeks, which would seem like a lifetime to me.  I would be caring for them while their Dad goes back to his hard daily routine of eating, exercising, sleeping and just being.  He does not even think of the hardship the mother goes through in carrying the puppies, delivering them and then having to care for them.

Maybe I don’t want puppies because I just don’t like them.  They are all about them.  They want their dog mother to just lie there and feed them all day long.  They then want their human mother to non-stop care for them.  Give me food, give me water, give me toys.   Give me, give me, give me.   If they don’t get what they want, they sometimes resort to taking matters in their own dirty paws.  They take pillows, clothes, shoes, walls, floors, etc., and make them toys.  They essentially say if you don’t give me what I want, I know how to ruin your life!

My dog friends always say well who will take care of you when you get old if you don’t have puppies.  I let them know that this is not a guarantee with having puppies like it once was.  Puppies move out and move all over the place, sometimes being flown to new homes.  They rarely come home.  The good part is that my human parents will take care of me for my entire life - at least I hope they will.  I tell my friends that having puppies to care for you is not the right reason.

Have I made it clear how I really don’t want to have puppies?  I know they would be cute and smart, since I am, but I still really don’t want to have puppies…

~ Tyra

Dog Would Not Really Care That Brad & Angelina Got Engaged

Celebrity news, grrrrrr!!!

I hate to admit it, but I listen to celebrity news or see it in some of the magazines lying around the house.  Today, I saw over my Mom's shoulder that Brad and Angelina got engaged.  What would dog do?

Dog Would Not Really Care That Brad & Angelina Got Engaged.  Don't get me wrong, I love seeing these two talented folks in movies, and also kind of enjoy seeing movie stars doing good for some cause, or any cause for that matter. 

But, why should I care that they are getting married.  Maybe, I should care because I do have a doggy crush on Angelina.  Brad is not so bad himself.

Or, maybe I should care because I could have been a movie star like them (I definitely have the looks) and living the supposed dream like Lassie. 

Or, maybe I should care because pop culture is so important right now in our country.

But, I don't care.  Not because I am better than you, but because I care about what really matters in life and not some silly celebrity gossip.

I care about pleasing the loving family who took me in off the streets, and now who regularly fulfills my many simple needs.  I care about getting enough beauty rest in a day, which right now equates to about 20 hours in a day.  I care about many other things, including some weddings, although I never attended one - even though my parents thought about including me. 

All of these cares consume my day to day dog life, not Brad and Angelina, and I have to be quite honest, life is really good!

~ Meatball

Dog Would Aim For Foster Failure

I have a confession for all of my furry pals.  It is called foster failure, and it is the best thing that ever happened to me.

It all started with this lady volunteering at a shelter who I batted my eyes at.  She came over to my cage and felt bad for me since I just arrived into the shelter and had obvious signs of malnourishment from my time on the streets.  She opened the cage and took me out.

I wiggled, and wiggled, and wiggled some more, and kept batting my eyes at her.  She just kept petting me and giving me much needed love.   I then heard her ask around about me, and the story was that I just arrived yesterday in an Animal Control truck.

She placed me back in my cage and I saw her talking to others about me.  She then left my sight.  I batted my eyes at many others, but in my heart I knew that lady would be back.

I was right!  That same lady came back the next day with a man.  They took me out again and I wiggled, and wiggled, and wiggled some more, and batted my eyes some more at both of them. 

They then introduced me to two other dogs, Aris and Meatball.  They were both black and white like me, and again fell in love with me - or so I think they did.

They put their dogs back in the car, and took me back into my cage.  I saw them walk out and again talk to others about me.  They then signed some paperwork, and took me back out of the cage and put me in the car with those other two dogs.  Off I went to a better place, but I definitely heard the word foster over and over.  I believe the exact wording was, "this is only a foster until she is better".

Surprisingly, two days later with lots of much needed love, I was already better.  I tried to continue looking a little bit sick, but nope I was fully back to good.  At the same time, I just kept wiggling and making eyes with these two people.  I heard them both agree that they could not take me back to the shelter, they had to adopt me. 

HA, HA Suckers - my grand plan worked!

~ Tyra

Dog Would Shop The Garbage

Garbage, I love it!  It calls my name.  Meatball, Meatball come to me.  You know there is something good in here, come to me.

Oftentimes, there is nothing good in our garbage.  Normally it is leftover coffee grinds, or non-meat packaging, or rotting fruits or vegetables.  The garbage still calls for me since it is not covered and I love to shop!

This Easter our garbage got some new inventory.  My parents had family over.  Immediately, the scent entered the house as the guests arrived.  The smell was meat, glorious meat, and as a carnivorous animal I am to eat this glorious meat.

They set the meat on a table too high for my arthritic legs, but the scent filled the house and my nostrils.  My sister and I drooled as we roamed the scene, and watched some of the family members fill their plate with what we knew would soon be our goodness.

They ate and ate, and ate some more.  We drooled, drooled, and circled. 

Finally, I saw my Mom start to clear the plates and dispose of the leftovers down the garbage disposal.  I thought, STOP IT, STOP IT NOW....  She must have heard our thoughts, because at this exact moment is when she went over to the garbage and dumped something in there.  It was something off of every plate and my sister and I immediately took notice. 

Sniff, sniff, sniff, what is it?   Is this Black Friday for me and Tyra?  Seriously, what is in that garbage?  I need to lay low since I am certainly not allowed to shop from the garbage.

But sometimes you have to indulge in your animal instincts.  This indulgence was to happen at the exact same moment as when my Mom served desserts to the already overfull guests.  It was time for Tyra and I to stop window shopping and buy.  I stuck my nose in the garbage and grabbed whatever I could get.  Tyra did the same. 

We momentarily enjoyed doing the dirty - shredding the napkins of the guests who just ate the meat.  It was AMAZING!!!  We shredded and shredded, both looking at one another knowing we were doing wrong.  But, we still shredded our newly found goods. 

Oh no, footstepts.  Tyra and I dropped our ears as our Mom entered the kitchen, who me???  Mom said something that started with no, so we both dropped the napkins, and our heads, and did the walk of shame out of the kitchen back to the guests knowing in our hearts that we could shop again later.